The Bothersome Beaver

There are no beavers in these parts, so this picture is clearly not my own.  Nonetheless, it is a good one, so I share it with you nonetheless.

And why, pray tell, is he showing us beaver pictures? I hear you asking now.  Well, it’s all quite reasonable.  I’ve just started a new unit in my 10th grade class on Romanticism (only the best) and – like usual – I went through all my old notepads to see what things I’d jotted down the last time I taught the marvelous subject.

I’m not the most organized person, so each of my notepads contains everything from class notes to canasta scores (which are quite demoralizing, actually, considering how often Bozo wins) – and, as I’ve just discovered, a good deal of poetry.  So I thought I’d share one very strange one with you:

The Bothersome Beaver
by Alan T. Halbrooks

In a far distant land at a far distant time
lived a bothersome beaver who’d committed a crime.
He tip-toed about in the dead of the night
and if anyone saw him he’d give such a fright
that the children all young and the grandfathers old
would scatter about and their blood would run cold.

And so it did happen, on the 15th of May
that a judge came to town in the middle of day.
His anger was sure and his mind was all set –
this beaver would pay – so he hid with a net.

The beaver emerged, and he waltzed out of doors
merrily humming a tune on all fours.
The judge threw his net with a wink and a grin
(’twas awkwardly done – a poor way to begin),
but the trap hit its mark and the beaver was caught
though he fought and he fought and he fought (and he fought).

On the next day at dawn saw the beaver on trial
all the creatures around came from mile after mile.
Each raised a grievance – some big and some small
but the beaver just said, “I’m no beaver at all!”

“It was all just a game – a joke on a joke –
pretending to pretend was a part of my cloak.”
But no one believed him – the judge shook his head –
Having measured the case, he stood and he said:

“My creatures, dear creatures, who come from afar
the fate of this beaver is like that of a jar –
having wandered away from the shelf that’s his home
now his lid is unscrewed, his true colors are shown –
he’s a thief and a joker – a clown and a goon –
and I hereby declare he be sent to the moon.”

The beaver was baffled, befuddled, afeared –
and the crowd all went wild – they hollered and cheered.
They strapped the poor rodent to the side of a tree,
lit jet-powered engines and set the roots free.

Which is why if you look at the right time of day,
you will see through a telescope far far away –
a bothersome beaver, looking quite bored
on the moon up above, just doing his chores.

Well, there’s really not much more I can say after that.

4 thoughts on “The Bothersome Beaver

  1. THIS makes me so happy… You wrote this in Rugby, I think from a list of made up words and definitions Jonathan gave you! hah

  2. Oh how I love it! I think I have already read it three times. I AM looking forward to you sharing in my second grade class during our poetry unit. Good times, Good times.

  3. Yo! We should Skype sometime (presuming that it doesn’t cost you exorbitant amounts of money).


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