Things I Don’t

Having shared a few of the things I do miss back in my homeland, I figured it’d only be just and wise and fair and prudent to share the things I’m o-so-pleased to be without.

All-To-Early Christmases – I’m happy to say that here in PNG, we celebrate Christmas at Christmastime.  We do not put Santa hats on turkeys:

None of this commercially-driven nonsense about setting up reindeer in the front lawn the night after Halloween or selling Yuletide coffee in early November.  Nope.  Here, we are free to start the singing, the decorating, and the gingerbread making just when we see fit.  ‘Tis a wonderful thing.

Cell Phones – This is my old cell-phone.  Last powered down at the airport in New York City.  Here it remains, happily, powered off:

Why? Because I finally live in a place where instant availability is not an expectation.  Where no one thinks about asking for my phone number.  Where people walk down the road to ask if they can borrow some tomatoes.  Where I can tell a student – “Hey, let’s play kickball this afternoon – spread the news” – and it happens, all by word of mouth.  Where I don’t jump every time I hear or feel vibrations, wondering if someone’s looking for me.  It is a most lovely way of life, I assure you.

Sunny D –  I rarely get a headache, but when I do, I know one of three things brought it on: exhaustion, stress, or a single sip of Sunny D.

If Tropicana with Lots of Pulp is the best juice under the sun, Sunny D is the worst.  And it is.  Not only is it manufactured, artificial, and packed with preservatives – it tastes like it’s manufactured, artificial, and packed with preservatives.  How do people drink this stuff?

At the risk of losing a few friends, I should mention that Pringles are almost just as evil.  Sadly, they are here, sitting on the very shelves of the Ukarumpa store even as I write.  The horror, the horror.

7 thoughts on “Things I Don’t

  1. Makes me long for my youth because what you describe is in many ways how things were back in 1968 Tennessee. Those were the days. I could get on my bike after breakfast and ride around all day, visiting friends, eating lunch at whosoever’s house we ended up at when it was 12 noon; making certain to be home before dark. ~ Also…TOTALLY with you on the Tropicana Lots-O-Pulp vs. Sunny D. NO comparison. Love you! Aunt Cindie

  2. And don’t forget, “watching movies that Dad has chosen”. Ugh. Last night = epic fail. Once again.

  3. Things we don’t want to miss: Opening Day of “The Hobbit” is December 15th (while we are in NZ). How cool would it be to see it while visiting Middle Earth?!

  4. Sunny D… bluuuuugghghghghgkk! What a complete and utter disgrace.

    Now. I’m trying to figure this out… Your cell phone’s final resting place is a leaky fish tank where you’ve endeavored to recreate the Triassic?

  5. Did you hear that George Lucas sold his soul to Disney? Disney announced that episodes 7, 8, and 9 are in the works.

  6. haaaa! No – my cell phone was place there for dramatic effect only, I assure you.

    And yes… I did here that George Lucas sold his soul to Disney. The only surprising part of all that was that he had any part of his soul left to barter with.


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