Having shared a few of the things I do miss back in my homeland, I figured it’d only be just and wise and fair and prudent to share the things I’m o-so-pleased to be without.
All-To-Early Christmases – I’m happy to say that here in PNG, we celebrate Christmas at Christmastime. We do not put Santa hats on turkeys:
None of this commercially-driven nonsense about setting up reindeer in the front lawn the night after Halloween or selling Yuletide coffee in early November. Nope. Here, we are free to start the singing, the decorating, and the gingerbread making just when we see fit. ‘Tis a wonderful thing.
Cell Phones – This is my old cell-phone. Last powered down at the airport in New York City. Here it remains, happily, powered off:
Why? Because I finally live in a place where instant availability is not an expectation. Where no one thinks about asking for my phone number. Where people walk down the road to ask if they can borrow some tomatoes. Where I can tell a student – “Hey, let’s play kickball this afternoon – spread the news” – and it happens, all by word of mouth. Where I don’t jump every time I hear or feel vibrations, wondering if someone’s looking for me. It is a most lovely way of life, I assure you.
Sunny D – I rarely get a headache, but when I do, I know one of three things brought it on: exhaustion, stress, or a single sip of Sunny D.
If Tropicana with Lots of Pulp is the best juice under the sun, Sunny D is the worst. And it is. Not only is it manufactured, artificial, and packed with preservatives – it tastes like it’s manufactured, artificial, and packed with preservatives. How do people drink this stuff?
At the risk of losing a few friends, I should mention that Pringles are almost just as evil. Sadly, they are here, sitting on the very shelves of the Ukarumpa store even as I write. The horror, the horror.