The Common Cold

For some reason, I (Alan) feel like I always get hit by these things harder than others.  Last year, it was just before graduation.  This year, it’s three weeks into the second semester.  And both times, I thought I’d come down with the black plague.  The flu, at the very least.

But no, then and now the doctor just said, “I’m sorry… it’s just a bad cold.”  I suppose that’s good news.  Well, this is what the common cold does to me:

1. Every time I’m meant to swallow something (food, drink, or pill), I have to mentally work up the courage to do so.  Twice today I’ve entertained thoughts about trading in my esophagus for a new one.


(photo courtesy Abigail Thompson)

2. I get the Weak Legs.  Fortunately the Weak Legs are never as dramatic as the time I was playing Risk and both my legs fell asleep; I got up at one point to take a break and my legs turned to jelly.  Were it not for a heroic twist and shout by my upper body, the game board would have resembled the aftermath of Chernobyl in a matter of seconds.

3. In my delusional state I write all sorts of gibberish down on nearby scraps of paper.  At the time, I always think they’re profound, but after the fact… well, you’ll see.  Here’s an excerpt from something I wrote a few years back in a similar sickened state:


It goes on like that for another three stanzas, but I’ll spare you.

4. Finally, I spend a great deal of time thinking about how grand it must be to be healthy.  It’s funny I never think about such pleasantries when I am healthy.  It certainly gives some perspective on those among us who feel ill all the time, and not just a few days a year.

The other good news in all of this is that I have a lovely wife to take care of my broken self.  Bless the lass – I’m sure she’s wanted to ship me off a dozen times this week, but she hasn’t given up on me yet.

Well, I’m off to write some more delusional poetry.  A wonderful weekend to you all!

3 thoughts on “The Common Cold

  1. So sorry you have been sick and hope you are better by now. So glad you have great nurse Amanda to take care of you. Praying for your work. Love, Emily and Langston

    Sent from my iPhone



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